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Young Writers Society


A Light in my Night



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308 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25520
Reviews: 308
Sun Dec 25, 2011 1:36 am
AlfredSymon says...



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It is ceaselessly dark and somber
in this cold, lonely Christmas night
I can see nothing but creeping shadow
and feel nothing but the moment’s respite

Not a single carol; no falling snow,
no blithesome music nor high-note singing,
only the dread of my friend, loneliness
and the haunt of seven bells ringing

Not even banter nor a fool's smile,
only vile rancor, virulence, spite
and guilt of human sin
are with me this very night

For all the world hath forgotten the reason:
the coming forth of the Holy Lamb
and only few hath lit their Way with lanterns
leaving many utter damned

Thus shrouding the entire world
with crow remains and foolish rheum
from the many gaudy ‘lights’
which bring nothing but wretched gloom

And yet, in this obscure cloak,
I never get lost, afraid or forlorn
for in my heart, and all else's too,there is light
from the stable-seated King who was born

He lights my darkened way;
a Candle as bright as sun, He seems,
given birth by a blessed Virgin;
His own Son as gift for the world, God deems

When I close my ash-ridden eyes,
away from all the world’s looming drear,
I see all things surreally bright, ever beautiful
and every darling thing that is simply dear

I am never alone,
for there is but one shining light
that kept my cold, lonely,
Christmas nights ceaselessly bright.


***********************************************************
Postlude – A Prayer after Reading

Lord God, Heavenly Father,
we thank you for giving your sole son
to us all, for He became
light, uniting the world as one

For he became our only hope
against the blindness
temptation brings, saving
all with true kindness.

Amen


For Christian View of the Poem:
Spoiler! :
Holidays, Yuletide, Xmas; where’s the ‘Christ’? Whose birthday is it anyway? Christ, right? But where is He in our hearts as we share and party and have fun and enjoy? We celebrate so much, but whose birth do we celebrate? These were the shadows I was thinking of a few days prior to writing this piece.
The world is shrouded with the belief that Christmas Lights (stanza 5), Holiday Ham, Gifts and, most especially, Santa Claus is the true meaning of Christmas. This very belief blocks us from the ‘Light’ of the world. Every Christian knows that Jesus Christ is the ‘Light’ I’m talking about here. God gave Him to us, and yet, we don’t try out best to come to Him. It was our blindness.
But there is still light, Christmas is all about hope, right? The true Hope, the living one. We can all see it; all we have to do now is follow it.


Symbols behind the Words
Spoiler! :
I hid a lot of meanings in this piece; here's a list to find out:
Not a single carol; no falling snow,
no blithesome music nor high-note singing,

Singing of angels
and the haunt of seven bells ringing

Seven deadly sins
and only few hath lit their Way with lanterns

The oil lamps; told by Jesus as a story
from the many gaudy ‘lights’

Christmas lights
When I close my ash-ridden eyes,

"All men are from ash"
I see all things surreally bright, ever beautiful
and every darling thing that is simply dear

Heaven
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152 Reviews



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Reviews: 152
Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:38 pm
Mikko says...



I tried to stay away from those spoilers, I really did. But gah! I was so curious, I just had to.

Well, I read the poem once, then clicked on the spoilers and read it a second time with the explainations you gave. As a Christian, I felt so disappointed with myself for not seeing those hidden meanings earlier. :/

That's the beauty behind poetry, I think: let the reader figure out any hidden meanings or metaphors or messages for themselves, even if they get a different view, it just shows you that the devices you use can create whole new images in your reader's mind. But I understand that you wanted to bring a certain message across, so in this case I'll say it's fine. Also, I totally agree with your view on how modern day society portrays Christmas -- it has become a material thing. Companies use it as a commercialisation tool, grabbing customers here and there and we're slowly forgetting the TRUE meaning of "Christmas".

Now to the poem. It was beautifully written and it definately got your message across. I like your ABCB rhyme scheme, and the rhythmn is smooth and regular. Nice job on the mechanism (is that the right word?)!

Without letting the hints you gave in the spoilers affect my primary view on the message you tried to get across, I'll go through what I thought of this.

I can see nothing but creeping shadow
This makes me think of Satan slowly spreading his 'shadow' over the world (okay, maybe I'm letting your hints affect me a little) because if the meaning of Christmas is changing, it means we are slowly moving away from the 'Christ' in 'Christmas' and anything away from Christ (from a Christian view atleast, not wanting to offend anybody) is making its way towards the Devil.

Not a single carol; no falling snow,
no blithesome music nor high-note singing,
Like I said, I was disappointed with myself for not seeing the angels in this. I saw, instead, the modern view of Christmas - how we expect it to be the whole 'carol singing' and the 'white Christmas' thing.

and the haunt of seven bells ringing
If I had known it had been a religious poem earlier, I would have guessed it was the seven deadly sins being hinted here. I must say, I spent some time wondering why you used seven. I was like "Seven? Why seven?" But then I read on, trying to see if there would be something that would help me understand. It was clever.

The third stanza clearly shows your anger towards today's transformation of the 'holidays' and your choice of words is lovely.

For all the world hath forgotten the reason:
the coming forth of the Holy Lamb
and only few hath lit their Way with lanterns
leaving many utter damned
Yes. Atleast I understood this. :mrgreen: The 'few' referred to here are those with strong faith and who have not forgotten the real reason they are celebrating Christmas. I really liked it and it's very deep, much like the rest of the poem.

When I close my ash-ridden eyes,
away from all the world’s looming drear,
I see all things surreally bright, ever beautiful
and every darling thing that is simply dear
I saw this stanza as you standing in Heaven, like you said. And though it was not said in many words, the desciption of man standing in Heaven is splendid.

or there is but one shining Light
That capitalisation is just a suggestion, but I thought you were referring that light as God, thus it was a metaphor.

To conclude, this was a very deep and touching poem. You managed to get your point across beautifully and at the same time, letting your reader think. The prayer following was by you? I know I'm not really supposed to review a prayer but I'll do it (not really review, just touch up on capitalisation):

we thank You for giving your sole Son


For He became our only hope



Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece, and for the prayer. If the clubs were still available to us I would have linked this to Christian Writers, but...

Great job! Keep writing!

Mikko.
when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams
  








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