Young Writers Society

Sometimes intelligence is a curse;
It interferes with ones emotions.
Learning from experiences, and stern
Parents’ discouragement of romance.

Learning too well from mistakes
That were not mistakes,
I have kept myself immovably
In tune with some kind of “reality”.

For a long time I had a thoroughly
Boring philosophy on love,
Altogether too aware of the fickleness
Of teen angst and unloyal hearts.

Then I met you. I became your friend,
And my life spun into a cliche mess.
Brought back memories of what love felt like
When it wasn’t a sad affair.

For the first time in years,
I have found someone who
Makes it difficult to breathe
When I imagine being close to you.

You lifted out my heart
Like a sweet-smelling stain,
Allowing me to feel something
Other than pessimism about passion.

It seems like forever since I have
Felt like Love could be something
That could fall harmoniously
In tune with reality.

Hi, this is Al for a Kudos Revue! Let's both get in tune with reality!

So, if I am right, this here piece is all about learning from past love mistakes. I think it's very great that you have done the poem in this theme because everyone commits mistakes and learns from them, love or no love. We all undergo into this stage where the hormones are on the rush as if the were competing in a race.

I also love the idea of what people undergo in this stage. The parents, the stress, the passing time. Your word choice is very fit with the overall theme; it was very young and innocent. But do mind your capitalization! And also your punctuation! Try to look up on the poem again to see those things I'm pointing out!

Also, don't worry about your stricture, it's a bit literal, but still very deep and beautiful .

Kudos:

Your revuer,
Al